For many women, being told they “just have bad PMS” is something they hear repeatedly. From doctors. From family. Sometimes even from themselves. But for some, what they’re experiencing goes far beyond premenstrual irritability or low mood.
In this episode of Riding the Trauma Train, I’m joined by Karli Hart to talk openly about PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and what it’s really like to live with it. This conversation matters because PMDD is still widely misunderstood, under-recognised, and too often dismissed.
Content note
This blog includes discussion of PMDD, severe mood changes, and suicidal thoughts. Please read gently and pause if you need to. Support information is shared at the end of this post.
What is PMDD?
PMDD stands for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It’s a hormone-related condition linked to the menstrual cycle, often appearing around ovulation or in the days leading up to a period.
While PMS can be uncomfortable, PMDD can be overwhelming and disabling. Many women describe feeling like a completely different person for part of every month, then returning to themselves once symptoms lift.
PMDD is not a personality flaw.
It’s not a lack of resilience.
And it’s not “all in your head”.
“It feels like someone else takes over”
Karli describes her PMDD symptoms as intense and out of character. For her, the dominant feeling isn’t sadness, it’s rage. A sudden loss of tolerance. Feeling unable to calm down. Everyday things becoming unbearable.
She uses a powerful metaphor in the episode, describing PMDD as feeling like an alien takes over her body for a few days, then leaves again. When she’s in it, there’s no logic or reasoning it away. When it passes, there’s often confusion and exhaustion left behind.
This cyclical nature is one of the hardest parts of PMDD.
When “just PMS” doesn’t explain it
Karli’s symptoms began after the birth of her daughter, alongside postnatal depression. Over time, she noticed a clear pattern: around three weeks of feeling like herself, followed by one week where everything felt wrong.
Initially, her concerns were brushed off as severe PMS. But her lived experience told her something deeper was going on.
What helped Karli push for answers was tracking her symptoms across her cycle. Writing down what she felt, when it happened, and how it affected her daily life gave her the language and evidence she needed to advocate for herself.
For many women, this is a crucial step.
PMDD doesn’t look the same for everyone
One important message from this episode is that PMDD can show up differently for different people. Some experience rage or irritability. Others feel deep sadness or hopelessness. Some struggle with anxiety, fatigue, or suicidal thoughts that feel sudden and frightening.
The common thread isn’t the exact symptom, but the severity, cyclical pattern, and loss of control.
If part of your cycle feels extreme, overwhelming, or unlike you, it deserves to be taken seriously.
Treatment, support, and boundaries
Karli speaks openly about using medication as part of her PMDD treatment, including sertraline and later hormonal support. She also talks about how important it’s been to plan life around her PMDD window, reduce pressure, and keep her support circle small and safe.
One key takeaway from this conversation is that:
- Medication is not failure
- Support is not weakness
- Planning around symptoms is not “giving in”
It’s about survival, safety, and quality of life.
PMDD alongside medical and emotional trauma
Alongside PMDD, Karli also navigated a difficult year that included medical misdiagnosis, Bell’s palsy, time off work, and redundancy. These experiences took a toll on her mental health and sense of identity.
And yet, out of that season, Karli rebuilt. She opened her own salon and created a working life that fits around her health, her child, and her nervous system.
Her story isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about honesty, adaptation, and finding ways forward that feel sustainable.
You’re not broken
One of the most important messages from this episode is this:
If you have thoughts about not wanting to be here during PMDD, it doesn’t mean your life is bad.
It means your system is overwhelmed.
You are not weak.
You are not dramatic.
And you are not alone.
If you think you might have PMDD
A gentle starting point:
- Track your symptoms across at least two to three cycles
- Notice emotional, mental, and physical changes
- Take this information to your GP
- Ask about referral options if you feel dismissed
You are allowed to ask for a second opinion.
Support matters
If this blog or the episode has brought up difficult feelings, please reach out.
In the UK and ROI:
- Samaritans: Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
If you’re in immediate danger, please call 999 or go to A&E.
This content is for awareness and lived experience and is not a replacement for professional medical care.
Listen to the episode
🎧 PMDD Symptoms in Women: Karli Hart on Why It’s Not Just Bad PMS
Available now on Riding the Trauma Train.
If this post resonates, consider sharing it with someone who’s been told they “just have bad PMS”. Conversations like this save lives.