What if anxiety isn’t something to fear, fight or get rid of?
What if understanding why anxiety exists could completely change the relationship you have with it?
In Episode 35 of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by award-winning anxiety specialist, clinical hypnotherapist, professional speaker and author Caroline Cavanagh, also known as The Anxiety Alchemist.
Their conversation explores anxiety, trauma, survival responses, hypnotherapy and the emotional weight we can carry from previous experiences. But running through the entire episode is one particularly important message: hope.
Because when anxiety has been controlling your choices for a long time, it can be difficult to imagine feeling any other way.
Caroline believes that change is possible.
Content Note
This article discusses trauma, childhood abuse, rape, suicidal thoughts, cancer, coercive relationships and emotional distress. Please read at your own pace and take a break if you need one.
The experiences and therapeutic approaches discussed in this episode are individual experiences and should not be taken as medical advice or a guarantee of results. If you are struggling with your mental health or the impact of trauma, consider speaking with an appropriately qualified professional.
Is Anxiety Really the Enemy?
Anxiety gets a bad reputation.
When someone experiences anxiety regularly, the natural reaction can be to want it gone. But Caroline begins the conversation by challenging the idea that anxiety itself is inherently bad.
Anxiety is part of our survival system.
When the brain detects uncertainty or potential danger, the body can prepare us to respond. Our heart rate may increase, our senses can become heightened and we might notice physical sensations such as sweaty palms or butterflies in our stomach.
Sometimes that response is uncomfortable, but it also has a purpose.
Caroline compares anxiety to an untrained dog. If the dog is controlling where you go and what you do, life becomes difficult. But when the relationship changes, that same dog can become something that protects and supports you.
The goal, therefore, isn’t necessarily to live a life where anxiety never appears.
It’s learning when to listen to it and when it no longer needs to be in charge.
Anxiety or Excitement?
One fascinating part of Lydia and Caroline’s conversation is the similarity between anxiety and excitement.
Think about starting a new job, giving a presentation, going on a first date or doing something you’ve never done before.
Your heart might race. Your stomach might flip. Your palms might sweat.
Those sensations can immediately be labelled as anxiety.
But could some of them also be excitement?
Caroline explains that stepping outside our comfort zone naturally creates uncertainty. Our body doesn’t necessarily know whether that uncertainty represents an exciting opportunity or a genuine threat.
Understanding that distinction can help us become curious about what we’re experiencing rather than immediately assuming something is wrong.
How Past Experiences Can Shape Present Anxiety
For people who have experienced trauma, this can become more complicated.
Our brains learn from experience.
If something has hurt us previously, the mind may use that memory when assessing similar situations in the future.
Sometimes that protects us.
Other times, an old experience can influence how safe something feels today, even when our circumstances have changed.
This is why simply telling someone to “stop worrying” or “think positively” is rarely helpful.
There may be much more happening underneath the anxiety.
The Wardrobe Analogy: The Energy of Holding Everything In
One of the most memorable analogies Caroline shares involves a teenager being told to tidy their bedroom.
Imagine gathering everything from the floor, throwing it into the wardrobe and forcing the doors closed.
Technically, the room looks tidy.
But now you have to stand against the wardrobe to stop everything falling back out.
That takes energy.
Caroline uses this image to describe what it can sometimes feel like when difficult experiences and emotions haven’t been processed.
From the outside, somebody may appear to be coping.
Inside, they may be using an enormous amount of energy simply trying to keep everything contained.
Therapeutic support can provide a safer environment to begin looking at what is inside that metaphorical wardrobe, at a pace appropriate for the individual.
The aim isn’t to rip the doors open and force someone to relive everything they’ve experienced.
Safety, trust and choice matter.
Hypnotherapy, NLP and Finding What Works for You
Caroline also explains the difference between hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, commonly known as NLP.
She describes hypnotherapy as the trunk of a tree, with different therapeutic techniques branching away from it.
Most importantly, this conversation highlights that there isn’t one universal approach to healing.
What helps one person may not be right for another.
For someone considering therapy, the relationship with the practitioner matters too.
Caroline calls her initial meeting with a potential client a “chemistry session”.
She compares therapy to learning to swim.
The therapist can be the swimming teacher. They can help create safety, teach techniques and offer guidance.
But they cannot swim for you.
Equally, a compassionate therapist shouldn’t simply throw someone into the deep end.
Trust can be built gradually.
Caroline’s Own Experience of Anxiety and Overwhelm
Caroline’s understanding of anxiety doesn’t come solely from professional training.
During the episode, she talks openly about experiences including being bullied at school, difficulties within her family, her mother’s cancer diagnosis and supporting her brother following a major stroke.
At 26, while juggling significant family responsibilities alongside a demanding career, she reached a point of profound exhaustion and despair.
Caroline shares a moment while driving when she experienced suicidal thoughts.
Her story is an important reminder that someone can appear capable, successful and functioning while privately carrying an enormous amount.
It is also part of why hope sits so strongly at the centre of this conversation.
If Change Is Possible for Someone Else, Could It Be Possible for You?
Caroline talks about moments in sport when something previously believed impossible became possible.
Once one person broke through a perceived barrier, others followed.
She applies the same principle to emotional wellbeing.
This doesn’t mean everyone’s trauma is the same.
It doesn’t mean another person’s recovery guarantees a particular outcome for you.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you have failed if your healing takes longer or looks different.
Instead, it offers another possibility:
Someone else’s progress can be evidence that change exists.
Your job isn’t to recreate their journey. It’s to discover what support, tools and next steps are right for yours.
Maybe that is therapy.
Maybe it’s learning more about your nervous system.
Maybe it’s finally telling someone that you’re struggling.
Sometimes the next step is simply allowing yourself to believe that another step exists.
The Therapist Doesn’t Need to Get Into the Hole
Caroline shares another analogy that beautifully captures her approach to support:
“If you’re in a hole, my job isn’t to get in the hole with you, because then that’s two of us in a hole.”
Instead, she describes the therapist’s role as offering a ladder and helping someone learn how to climb.
Healing isn’t something another person can do to you.
Professional support can offer tools, knowledge, safety and guidance, but the person healing remains an active participant in their own journey.
That can feel daunting, but it can also be empowering.
“This Too Shall Pass”
At the end of every Riding the Trauma Train episode, Lydia asks her guest the Conductor’s Question.
If Caroline could sit beside her 26-year-old self on the train, during a period when life felt overwhelmingly difficult, what would she tell her?
Her answer is simple:
“This too shall pass.”
Nothing stays exactly the same forever.
There may be stretches of the journey that happen in darkness. There may be times when the train feels as though it has entered a tunnel and you cannot yet see where it ends.
But the tunnel isn’t necessarily the destination.
And sometimes experiencing darkness changes how deeply we appreciate the light when we eventually see it again.
If you’re currently in your own tunnel, you don’t need to know exactly where the journey ends.
Perhaps, for today, it’s enough to know that the train can keep moving.
You are not on this journey alone.
Listen to Episode 35
Listen to Episode 35: What If Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy? The Truth That Could Change Everything with Caroline Cavanagh on Riding the Trauma Train.
To learn more about Caroline and her work, visit Caroline Cavanagh’s website. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
You can also find Riding the Trauma Train at ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk and follow @ridingthetraumatrain and @right.track.wellbeing on Instagram.
If this conversation resonated with you, consider sharing the episode with someone who may need to hear its message of hope.